There is this moment in your life when you really start to decide that the box you’re living in just doesn’t fit anymore. We grow up with an identity in our families, our schools, with our friends, and we don’t always have the time to really decide if that’s the identity we want.
Imagine how you’d describe yourself as an 18-year old.
I look back on my life and there are these little checkpoints that feel like moments where I decided my identity wasn’t working for me anymore.
Sometimes you make this realization and then you look around and you can see all of these walls that you’ve built that help keep you tightly inside that box you’re living in. You have a job you aren’t thrilled with, you have a family that has expectations of you, you have a routine that has become comfortable.
How do you get out of your box? How can you take a new path and move towards this something else that’s calling you?
Here are 5 ways to get there:
- Start writing. Give yourself some time to think about all of the possibilities. Avoid the logistics of how you’ll get there or the things that will need to change along the way and just imagine.
If you’re not a huge writer, just spend time meditating, or while you’re in the shower, driving your car, laying in bed…whenever you have a moment alone to just sit and think, do it. And, on that note, put down your phone, turn off the tv, and force yourself to do nothing.
This is when ideas happen—when you sit long enough to start really thinking. See Simon Sinek’s advice on that
- Start talking. Once you’ve had some time to yourself to get excited about the changes you’d like to make, start telling the people you trust. The key here is…the people you trust.
At this point, you don’t need negative thinkers or “realistic thinkers” you need a HYPE partner (or even better, a HYPE coach). You need someone to give you positive feedback on these, still delicate, ideas.
And when you’re talking you’ll get more excited and you’ll continue the process of figuring out what this new identity will be.
- Start making plans. Sometimes change needs to happen quickly and sometimes it’s a more gradual road. Either way, start making plans. This is where you can start making lists. What are your new destinations—your goals. And what are some things you can do to get there?
Now, inevitably you’ll be feeling a little overwhelmed by these lists so take a pause and then write a list with just 1 thing on it. On that list, write one thing you can do today to make progress. I suggest this one thing doesn’t take you any longer than 1 hour but it can be as short as 5 minutes.
- Start small but often. Pick one thing you can do every day to create some momentum. It doesn’t even matter if it’s directly related to your task list for your goals.
Making small changes each day will break your routine and make room for something new. For example, what if you only watched tv every other night? What if you went for a 20-minute walk every day? What if you woke up and made your bed?
Get the ball rolling and ready for great things.
- Go BIG. Some of the changes you will need to make will feel really big and scary. These would include things like completely stopping a bad habit, quitting a job, leaving a relationship, getting a loan.
Go for it. Go big. If it feels like you’re standing on an edge and you’re terrified because you’re not sure what’s on the other side, that’s a good sign that you need to just take the leap. Just think of what is on the other side?
You don’t have to stay where you are. In fact, you should always be changing and reaching for something better or something more.
Of course, you want to enjoy the journey and find happiness within each day, but never settle if the box you’re in just doesn’t fit anymore.
Who are you ready to be?